older men fever?

i don't know why, or what i've been doing, but i've been so attracted to older men lately. i mean older in the realm of late twenties - early thirties older... which for a twenty-one year old is relatively older. maybe it was brought more thoroughly to my attention when i met one of the throwing recruits last night. he seemed older, and as i found out is just beginning his PhD studies here at guelph. but, i'm pretty sure this has been somewhat of an ongoing theme in my life of late.

last night i had a dream that i got involved with a professor. it was a complicated situation because there was the chance that he could be lecturing one of my classes. obviously this possess an ethical problem for him. but, i was so attracted to this man, and we communicated so well. i don't really know how it ended; my alarm clock went off and i groggily got out of bed.

i wonder whether something has affected my default male attraction. i've heard that sometimes we tend to flock toward models that we felt were lacking in our own lives, such as strong father figures. is that why i like older men, because i want someone that has experience and wisdom and authority? perhaps. but, i'd prefer to think that it is because older men have a "lived" feeling to them, and there is less coyness and games. i want honesty and genuineness and communication, and of course love and affection.

but, god knows it is difficult to sit in class and pay attention when i think my prof is good looking.