lost. forsaken. neglected. abandoned. abused. discarded. disenfranchised. minimized. isolated. ostracized. forgotten. addicts.
people.
what have we learned from our history? as a people, at some point in time, each and every one of us has felt alone. yet, we allow others to continue to live in this wrenching loneliness. why?
it was only recently brought to my attention that there is a very progressive - and extremely controversial - human experiment going on in the east end of vancouver. insite is a provincially funded facility that provides clean and sterile rooms and needles for people to shoot up their drugs. on the second floor of that same building is onsite, a detox facility. the objective of this project is to enable what is known as "harm reduction"; if drug users are going to use, they should have access to clean and sterile equipment to prevent infection and the spread of disease.
this is not what many people might consider an aide to the reduction of drug use, but rather a tool to the perpetuation of the drug culture in western canada. you wouldn't be alone if you thought that. stephen harper thinks it. but, from the mouths of the clients themselves it is clear that this project prevents overdose, transmission of HIV, AIDS, and Hepatitis C, and empowers clients in even the most infinitesimal way.
the staff do not judge the clients, nor do they condemn them. they listen. they care. they inform. there is always a hope for a better life for all of them, when they might understand their worth, and their value. but, until then, this centre is a warm smile, a hot cup of coffee, and a safe place.
cbc news: the fifth estate filmed an exposing piece on the inner workings of insite, onsite, and the facility clients, called staying alive. i hope even one more person becomes informed, and subsequently inspired to action, whatever that action may be.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
the natural conversation
the next time you're having a conversation with someone listen to what you're both saying. it sounds like a simple task, but i imagine that it doesn't occur that frequently. sometimes we let our words get the best of us. but, are we really listening to our companion? are we really speaking openly?
my interviewing class brought to light the concept that we do not always do what we think we should or would in a given situation. at one point an entire list of qualities or actions that limit, or essentially prevent, constructive and supportive communication was written on the board at the front of the classroom. although what my teacher said was shocking, it was also incredibly humbling; he told us that at some point all of us have been poor helpers. we have been pushy, manipulative, judgemental, impatient, distracted, uncaring, dangerous, ignorant, and so forth. although we are entitled to be less than our best, it is a reminder of how we need to be aware of how we communicate with others all the time, but especially when we are in our "helper" role.
during this exercise i was pleased (if i can use pleasure for the description of what i felt) that i felt confronted by the truth that i might not be taking the time to be really present in every day life. i began reflecting on some of my most recent conversations, wondering whether my companions each felt that they received my sincere attention. i'm glad that i will improve because of this program; i mean, i will not only learn in the sense that i develop skills to use in a specific career, but rather i will take away lessons that will directly apply to my own life.
i am still befuddled by how revealing some people can be here, how incredibly vulnerable they have already become to a group of relative strangers. every time someone discloses a personal truth, whether it is that they were sexually abused as a child, that they continue to struggle with an eating disorder, or that they are recovery addicts, i have an urge to applaud them. always, i sit somewhat startled by the courage they each one shows in exposing themselves in such a way. it honestly blows my mind. but, it reinforces to me that this is exactly where i need to be right now.
my interviewing class brought to light the concept that we do not always do what we think we should or would in a given situation. at one point an entire list of qualities or actions that limit, or essentially prevent, constructive and supportive communication was written on the board at the front of the classroom. although what my teacher said was shocking, it was also incredibly humbling; he told us that at some point all of us have been poor helpers. we have been pushy, manipulative, judgemental, impatient, distracted, uncaring, dangerous, ignorant, and so forth. although we are entitled to be less than our best, it is a reminder of how we need to be aware of how we communicate with others all the time, but especially when we are in our "helper" role.
during this exercise i was pleased (if i can use pleasure for the description of what i felt) that i felt confronted by the truth that i might not be taking the time to be really present in every day life. i began reflecting on some of my most recent conversations, wondering whether my companions each felt that they received my sincere attention. i'm glad that i will improve because of this program; i mean, i will not only learn in the sense that i develop skills to use in a specific career, but rather i will take away lessons that will directly apply to my own life.
i am still befuddled by how revealing some people can be here, how incredibly vulnerable they have already become to a group of relative strangers. every time someone discloses a personal truth, whether it is that they were sexually abused as a child, that they continue to struggle with an eating disorder, or that they are recovery addicts, i have an urge to applaud them. always, i sit somewhat startled by the courage they each one shows in exposing themselves in such a way. it honestly blows my mind. but, it reinforces to me that this is exactly where i need to be right now.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
"exposure"
i've heard and read the word "exposure" used in reference to treatment of mental illness and addiction. for example, when someone suffers from a phobia, they are brought into contact with the object of their fears.
since beginning this journey, it has come to my attention that some people that work in the treatment of mental health and addictions are actually themselves in treatment. it makes me wonder why they would choose such a challenge for themselves. what could compel them to face their addiction everyday through someone else? i would consider this an exposure.
i'll have to ask.
since beginning this journey, it has come to my attention that some people that work in the treatment of mental health and addictions are actually themselves in treatment. it makes me wonder why they would choose such a challenge for themselves. what could compel them to face their addiction everyday through someone else? i would consider this an exposure.
i'll have to ask.
Monday, September 7, 2009
what could make you want to...
i don't know what started this recent fascination with eating disorders, but it has become one of those things that you suddenly notice is everywhere. i'm feeling a number of different emotions on the matter, just one of which is anger.
in retrospect, i am so aware of the ridiculous number of women (and probably men) in my life who have dealt with some kind of challenge when it comes to eating balanced diets. i include myself in this. i don't think i knew it while i was in it, but i recognise now that some of my behaviours could have escalated to dangerous heights. but, my main concern now, my objective, is to understand why people fall into these empty traps, how some get out of them, and what would motivate people on the outside to continue supporting destructive behaviours.
in reading my book, slim to none: a journey through the wasteland of anorexia treatment, watching youtube videos about a&e intervention, journalist experiments with fad diets, and personal photo tributes about people struggling with anorexia nervosa, i'm gaining an insight into the underlying commonality: people feel invisible.
now, this idea of being invisible is not simple but rather multi-layered. for some women they want to make themselves disappear because of lack of confidence, shyness, feelings of ugliness, feelings of worthlessness. some women want to make their faults disappear, the failures from their past, that mistake they made that they feel can never be undone. yet still, and this is the most confusing, some women want to blend in so that they can finally stand out. they think that if they look like someone else, act like someone else, be what someone else thinks they should be that somehow they will finally be loved and wanted. but, the truth is that being you, unique, makes you special.
now, when i think of eating disorders i tend to become angry. there are several reasons for this. 1) i get mad at the idea that beautiful, caring, generous women are hurting themselves with their coping methods. it's such a double edged sword; the same thing that they think brings them relief, or peace, or satisfaction, is the very same thing that makes them feel pain, shame, and guilt. i'm angry that our thoughts can be so self destructive. 2) i can literally become irate at the notion that there are people encouraging this behaviour in other, more impressionable people. the example that always comes to mind is dst. whether he'll acknowledge it or not, he breeds a cult. he makes people believe that they are lucky to be in his presence, lucky to be under his guidance, nothing without him. i imagine that many times over he has gotten into situations that he is not equipped to handle, yet he covers up or ignores that reality. it's all for the win. it is obvious that there are people under his direction right now that are suffering, and he is not listening. i hate it. 3) i'm disappointed in the role that our society plays in all mental illness stigmas. i get upset that people today would rather not talk about it, pretend everything is alright, or that these problems are easily and quietly fixed by ignoring or isolating the people that are suffering. the problem is really two-fold: there is not enough attention given to these issues for people that are dealing with them to feel comfortable seeking help; and, once these courageous souls decide to fight their demons, there are not enough resources to help them.
i'm sure that this personal intrigue with anorexia is just an example of how i generally feel about health care globally. it's the needless suffering that gets me everytime. it's the ignorance to others' pain that really gets me going.
in retrospect, i am so aware of the ridiculous number of women (and probably men) in my life who have dealt with some kind of challenge when it comes to eating balanced diets. i include myself in this. i don't think i knew it while i was in it, but i recognise now that some of my behaviours could have escalated to dangerous heights. but, my main concern now, my objective, is to understand why people fall into these empty traps, how some get out of them, and what would motivate people on the outside to continue supporting destructive behaviours.
in reading my book, slim to none: a journey through the wasteland of anorexia treatment, watching youtube videos about a&e intervention, journalist experiments with fad diets, and personal photo tributes about people struggling with anorexia nervosa, i'm gaining an insight into the underlying commonality: people feel invisible.
now, this idea of being invisible is not simple but rather multi-layered. for some women they want to make themselves disappear because of lack of confidence, shyness, feelings of ugliness, feelings of worthlessness. some women want to make their faults disappear, the failures from their past, that mistake they made that they feel can never be undone. yet still, and this is the most confusing, some women want to blend in so that they can finally stand out. they think that if they look like someone else, act like someone else, be what someone else thinks they should be that somehow they will finally be loved and wanted. but, the truth is that being you, unique, makes you special.
now, when i think of eating disorders i tend to become angry. there are several reasons for this. 1) i get mad at the idea that beautiful, caring, generous women are hurting themselves with their coping methods. it's such a double edged sword; the same thing that they think brings them relief, or peace, or satisfaction, is the very same thing that makes them feel pain, shame, and guilt. i'm angry that our thoughts can be so self destructive. 2) i can literally become irate at the notion that there are people encouraging this behaviour in other, more impressionable people. the example that always comes to mind is dst. whether he'll acknowledge it or not, he breeds a cult. he makes people believe that they are lucky to be in his presence, lucky to be under his guidance, nothing without him. i imagine that many times over he has gotten into situations that he is not equipped to handle, yet he covers up or ignores that reality. it's all for the win. it is obvious that there are people under his direction right now that are suffering, and he is not listening. i hate it. 3) i'm disappointed in the role that our society plays in all mental illness stigmas. i get upset that people today would rather not talk about it, pretend everything is alright, or that these problems are easily and quietly fixed by ignoring or isolating the people that are suffering. the problem is really two-fold: there is not enough attention given to these issues for people that are dealing with them to feel comfortable seeking help; and, once these courageous souls decide to fight their demons, there are not enough resources to help them.
i'm sure that this personal intrigue with anorexia is just an example of how i generally feel about health care globally. it's the needless suffering that gets me everytime. it's the ignorance to others' pain that really gets me going.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
