send out energy and it will return

during a conversation with my former significant other, i told him that one reason i look forward to having my own home is for it to be a place where people know they are welcome to come anytime of day or night at any time of year. he told me then that i couldn't tell people that, that they would never actually just drop in until they felt like it was their home and could do so. i had to make it evident with my actions that they were welcome to come.

well, this week, two friends of mine just "dropped in" on two separate occasions. they had no idea what i would be doing, or whether i would even be home. despite both of them having cell phones, neither called before coming. in fact, neither stayed that long, but they came in to say hello and just see what i was up to and how i was doing. i do not write this just to show to people that i have friends, and that they come to visit me. i'm not that concerned whether people think i have a lot of friends, or think i am a loner. i write this because it brings to mind a simple truth: little things can go a long way.

it irritates me that we use gifts as bargaining tools in this society. we do not give just to give; rather, we give with the expectation of receiving. when did this start? has it always been this way? i am not saying that we must all become altruists, but there is such a thing as sharing the wealth. if anything, do it because it brings you happiness to see someone else happy; do it because you know that another person really needed your help but couldn't ask for it; do it because it brings you peace to be a part of a community.

have you ever seen the movie, or read the book, "pay it forward" (catherine ryan hides, 2000)? it involves a young boy's design for ever-reaching understanding and generosity by doing three good things for other people and asking each person that you help to do the same (and so on). i think that this is closer to altruism, but still balanced with some personal benefit: the knowledge that your "good deeds" are passed on and many benefit from your kindness.

this concept of paying it forward was actually documented in a letter from benjamin franklin to bejamin webb dated april 22, 1784, which read:

i do not pretend to give such a sum; i only lend it to you. when you [...] meet with another honest man in similar distress, you must pay me by lending this sum to him; enjoining him to discharge the debt by a like operation, when he shall be able, and shall meet with another opportunity. i hope it may thus go thro' many hands, before it meets with a knave that will stop its progress. this is a trick of mine for doing a deal of good with a little money.

i wish that we could all remember this type of philosophy from time to time. even doing it when the thought randomly comes to mind, as opposed to every day, is still a great gift to the world. plus, the immediate payment typically involves a warm smile, or hug, or words, and possibly - if you believe - some good karma.