beauty and the bitch?

first of all, i'd like to say that i love friends. true friends. the people in your life that tell you the truth even when they know that you're not going to like it.

anyways, i am eternally grateful that i have made a special group of friends with the people that i volunteered with this year at the campus drop-in center. we still have "team meetings," but now they involve dinner and wine. last night was one of these meetings, and while i was there i asked the our token male his perspective on a particular issue.

i've been somewhat unsure what kind of reaction or behaviour guys are looking for from girls when the guy does something wrong, i.e., cheats. when i had a conversation with an older female friend of mine, she said that a girl has to be a "bitch" every once in a while. that way, she won't get walked all over. i was not sure whether her opinion was borne out of heartache, resentment and cynicism, so i didn't know whether i could take it at face value. i, in my attempt to see things from the male perspective, thought that a guy might not want the crying and screaming and slamming of doors in their faces. i thought maybe they'd prefer the conversation and understanding and forgiveness.

now, when i posed this situation hypothetically to my friend, he said that as a guy, he would want "the bitch". he clarified, and said that it's not so much the meanness he'd want, but he wanted evidence that a girl has some pride and self-esteem. (sidenote: apparently those times that i didn't get angry and yell and cry, i came across as having low self-esteem. who knew?) according to my friend, guys prefer to have a girl that kicks him out and tells him not to call, because she is being assertive, and basically demanding better treatment. she is challenging him to be better than he's been in the past. it makes a clear statement that his wrong-doing will not be tolerated, or easily overcome; so, if he wants to stay with her, he better improve his game.

i wonder whether the outcome of various situations would have been different had i played the bitch card. i don't know. but, i appreciate the insight and i actually understand the logic. i will definitely consider that in the future, if i should ever be in another similar situation - which, from my experience, i would much rather avoid all together.