the natural conversation

the next time you're having a conversation with someone listen to what you're both saying. it sounds like a simple task, but i imagine that it doesn't occur that frequently. sometimes we let our words get the best of us. but, are we really listening to our companion? are we really speaking openly?

my interviewing class brought to light the concept that we do not always do what we think we should or would in a given situation. at one point an entire list of qualities or actions that limit, or essentially prevent, constructive and supportive communication was written on the board at the front of the classroom. although what my teacher said was shocking, it was also incredibly humbling; he told us that at some point all of us have been poor helpers. we have been pushy, manipulative, judgemental, impatient, distracted, uncaring, dangerous, ignorant, and so forth. although we are entitled to be less than our best, it is a reminder of how we need to be aware of how we communicate with others all the time, but especially when we are in our "helper" role.

during this exercise i was pleased (if i can use pleasure for the description of what i felt) that i felt confronted by the truth that i might not be taking the time to be really present in every day life. i began reflecting on some of my most recent conversations, wondering whether my companions each felt that they received my sincere attention. i'm glad that i will improve because of this program; i mean, i will not only learn in the sense that i develop skills to use in a specific career, but rather i will take away lessons that will directly apply to my own life.

i am still befuddled by how revealing some people can be here, how incredibly vulnerable they have already become to a group of relative strangers. every time someone discloses a personal truth, whether it is that they were sexually abused as a child, that they continue to struggle with an eating disorder, or that they are recovery addicts, i have an urge to applaud them. always, i sit somewhat startled by the courage they each one shows in exposing themselves in such a way. it honestly blows my mind. but, it reinforces to me that this is exactly where i need to be right now.